So Grant said: “the celebration and the cost are irrelevant compared to the whole reason of the entire day.” But for us, the reason for us getting married IS the celebration. If it were just the piece of paper I wanted, I’d simply go buy a nice dress and shell out $300 for the registry office assembly line special. What’s important to us – in addition to publicly declaring our commitment – is hosting a celebration for family and friends to say “thank you” for all the support they’ve given us in our relationship so far. I believe every woman, no matter what her situation may be, is entitled to have the wedding day she wants. So yeah, that does cost, which is why we’ll get married if and when we can afford it.

But weddings don’t have to cost that much. We’d love to have $10k to spend but we could have the day we want for much less than that. It really is a crazy industry. I’ve been to a few bridal fairs, joined a few online wedding forums, and some of the stuff that brides feel they “have to have” is just pathetic. At the end of the day who’s going to notice that the napkin rings were the exact shade of the invitation? Most people have thrown out the invitation by that stage anyway! And “theme” weddings are the worst, because now not only do you have the victorian style wedding dress, all of a sudden you have to have parasols and fans for you and all your bridesmaids (and don’t forget those ivory damask granny boots which I still haven’t managed to track down, lol).

And initially the wedding vendors are the ones who start the waters churning. But ultimately it’s the brides themselves (and their friends) who are to blame. Women feed their frenzy by word of mouth and internet forums and bridal magazines and encourage each other to spend way more than what the item is worth – and these are SMART women, women who should know better, but for some reason, they become a bride-to-be and all thier brain cells fall out of their ears. And I don’t know if this is just a response to social pressure or maybe a diversionary tactic so they don’t have to deal with any real issues. But Bridezilla is alive and well and definitely on the warpath.

It irritates me to no end that people put so much emphasis on the size of the engagement ring, the cost of the wedding and the various other materialistic values that seem to be imposed.

It seems to me that really, if the couple need to put so much effort into the materialistic supplements of the wedding, releasing butterflies and having the ‘perfect wedding’ – perhaps there are some more fundamentally deep rooted issues to be addressed before the wedding happens.

To me, a wedding is announcing and celebrating the commitment of love between two people, and the day should be treated accordingly.

A great article.